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Teen Issues - What Do You Miss About Childhood? |
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 - by Jessie Burke, 18, HRM
I don't miss childhood. I would not trade the comprehensive abilities and the sense of world-belonging of the right now to regain the innocence and timelessness of right then. The complications and chaos, even the contradictions of grownups invigorate me. I am collected, I am at peace with myself, I am more than content - I am happy.
I am more than my age and it does not define me. I am still in childish awe of the ocean and it consumes me.
I eat ice cream for breakfast and cinnamon toast crunch for supper both in my favorite pink and orange bowl.
I still get excited about the movie theatre, a pretty new dress, and my favorite kind of pudding in the fridge.
Bean, coming home from work or getting up early on Sunday to go to the Jess-consuming beach with Daddy and Jamie.
Underwear in my stocking at Christmas, butter and syrup and whipped cream on my blueberry waffles with chocolate milk in a glass that matches my plate.
The way the air is when there's cake in the oven, shiny new mechanical pencils with brand beautiful pristinely new white erasers on the ends.
I blow bubbles, watch Disney movies, stick out my tongue, watch cartoons.
I called the boy I like to leave absurd messages on his machine. He picked up and I invited him to Kenya with me for the rest of forever, starting this Saturday.
I swing my feet when I'm lying on my bed, color with crayons, sing into my hairbrush, refer to my care bear as 'she', talk to the sky, dance in the rain.
Eat raw cookie dough, question everything, chat animatedly to strangers, smile and laugh openly.
I never grew into inhibitions. I am lucky.
I have brought my favorite aspects of childhood with me and have found room for all of them and each of them amongst the new things.
Like kissing , my favorite Kenya boy all night while everyone else is sleeping, having chapped lips the next day and appreciating the sweet carnal sting of joyous overuse.
Crying because of the world, trying to help someone older than I am, understanding feeling old, learning in new capacities.
Being Jessie the Bug instead of Aunt Jessie, being big enough to cradle someone's deepest sadness with my mouth and my heart, owning someone else's everything with that same mouth and that same heart.
Cleavage, boots, short skirts, messy hair, class expression, logic, eclecticism in everything…
Acknowledgement… in the adult world… being a woman. |
