Over At Last…Maybe

Joshua T, 15 HRM

I have bled for years.
I have been lost for so long.
Trying to find solace in anything and everything.

 

I have been buried alive by guilt that was never mine to bear.
It seems like I have been holding my breath for far too long.
But why?

Why should I be the one to pay?
I was the one to suffer for your choice.
I spent years in the dark
Afraid to face the light.
I was so terrified to see your face around the corner.

You took my pride,
Made me feel ashamed, to be a man
Ashamed because I was so weak,
Too weak to even watch out for my own back
Reduced to rubble.

It was like an endless bombing raid in my head.
All the sirens were wailing
As your planes flew overhead
Dropping bombs of memories and feelings
Each one hurting more and more every time.

But that’s all over now
I have beaten you in a way that only I can.
Now I live in the light, not afraid
Hoping to see you, so I can hold my head up high and laugh.
But like all wars do,
This left a mark on me
And it will be mine to carry
A heavy burden that should have never been mine.
The future… remains uncertain
But for now I enjoy the freedom from pain.